I know it’s ridiculous, but I feel like the forward-thinking, intelligent, in-control Stevie hates the Stevie who loves pretty dresses and believes in love. I grew up valuing individuality and equality, which at some point in my childhood got twisted into a belief that if I appreciated the mainstream, I wasn’t being myself, and if I wasn’t distinctly anti-girly, I was anti-feminist. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I like Taylor Swift on an emotional level because her sometimes frivolous, sometimes ignorant, always naive songs validate the part of me that I had a hard time dealing with when I was younger.

—

Stevie, re: Taylor Swift

—

I very much feel this way too.

As far as Taylor Swift herself is concerned, well, I just remember driving once and hearing one of her songs come on and her reasonably-pleasant voice singing the line that Autostraddle disparaged… “when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them”.

And hell if I did not agree with her, a thousand percent. Still do, in fact. Doesn’t anyone remember what it feels like to be young and careless and wistful?


#musing

0 notes
Comments

Post-Mortems

Babysitting the show today, which leaves me with a lot of downtime. Fortunately (?) all of my stations are hooked up to the net (cause… they had to be), so this leaves me with easy access to various net-based entertainment. I suspect I will be spending a lot of time on Facebook, checking out new games. >_>

But first… figure I should write. You know, about… everything. I’ll try to remain coherent, but no promises.

I’m graduating! Three years, and they moved both excessively slow and horrifyingly fast, and I’ll finally be walking away with a really expensive piece of paper which states that I am now a Master of Fine Arts in Interactive Media. According to Wikipedia, this makes me something of an authority figure on the practice (as opposed to the critical study) of interactive media.

Do I feel like an authority figure? Not hardly. >_>; In fact, I don’t think I could really describe what it is that I learned while I was here. Still, I think I’ve grown a little… even if I can’t articulate how or why or in what manner precisely. I don’t regret my time here at all. I’m not sure if I made the most of it, but I don’t think I squandered too much either.

On Schism… ah, my baby thesis project, grown to behemoth-size. I am so glad I don’t totally hate you after a year and a half of thought, but am of course regretful that I wasn’t able to give you the send-off you deserve. The Singularities exhibition, while I’m very pleased with how it turned out for us, is a singularly horrible way of trying to exhibit a slow-paced game like you were intended to be. Amazing clock tower or no. >_>

I am, yes, toying with the idea of retooling the game to be viable on Facebook. It would be a likewise behemoth undertaking fraught with much frustration, I’m certain, but I think I could do it. This is at the expense of finding a real job (lol) after graduation, so I’m not sure if it will really fly… but as it turns out, finding a real job immediately doesn’t appear to be a totally plausible plan for the time being.

If I were to do this… well, I think the plan would be to perfect the combat system this summer, while simultaneously researching Facebook API and that whole can of worms. And then post-summer, after the combat card system is PERFECT (LOLOLOL), I’d be able to focus on the adventuring and civic stuff.

So, I dunno, if my parents are all right with the idea of me mooching off of them for a year or so longer (no, I haven’t talked to them about it ::rofl:: I figure it’ll come up when they come down … oh, tomorrow. gkk) … I may perfect this final portfolio piece, release it to Facebook, become infamous in a week (because it’d take that long for people to get it x_x ) and have Zynga knocking down my door with a job offer.

… Yeah, school hasn’t squandered my ability to daydream, that’s for sure.

My parents, and a couple other relatives, are coming down tomorrow to see the exhibition’s closing reception / ceremonies and then they’ll see me walk on Friday. (My mother was PISSED at my not walking for undergrad… which stems from my being kind of truant at my HS graduation… eh-heh, so she insisted that she get to experience this last shot.)

I’ve done nothing but vege for the past couple days, but soon I’ll have to get into the swing of planning the curricul…ae? … for this summer’s coursework. TIC and AIC all in one… ohfreakingboy.

And here’s a parting shot for you… the Singularities build codebase. To refresh your memory, this was what it looked like right before the alpha release, which had like… adventuring implemented only.

singularities build


#schism #musing

0 notes
Comments
You know what I find interesting these days… is how instructions and information regarding the details of certain tech-related things have often chose to dispose of formality in favor of more casual, even playful, responses. Like this one here. I think several years ago, this sort of response would have been considered almost snide or impudent, but for whatever reason, my only reaction now is to giggle. (and… take a screenshot for sharing purposes.) It makes me think that the internet as a whole is getting “looser”… for lack of more appropriate term. How strange? Maybe it’s Google’s fault.

You know what I find interesting these days… is how instructions and information regarding the details of certain tech-related things have often chose to dispose of formality in favor of more casual, even playful, responses. Like this one here.

I think several years ago, this sort of response would have been considered almost snide or impudent, but for whatever reason, my only reaction now is to giggle. (and… take a screenshot for sharing purposes.)

It makes me think that the internet as a whole is getting “looser”… for lack of more appropriate term. How strange? Maybe it’s Google’s fault.


#musing

Notes
Comments

Persevere

So this year’s New Years log is a little different from usual, eh? I’ll admit that I toyed with the idea of quitting logging. The fact that I forget to flip, that I more often had nothing to say than something, that I’m now missing entries for a month’s worth of time… not to mention my dissatisfaction with the visual appearance of the space I was writing in.

And then the new year, along with its imperative of reminiscing and resolutioning, rolled in and I was suddenly choked with things I needed to put to words… and no space to write them in.

So here’s my space that I set up in less than an hour, for the indeterminate future. Arguably the biggest “problems” with my previous weblog were in all the strictures I set for myself: new designs/images every month (that died fast), new entry every day, lists of categories and tags to keep track of. So this time we’ll try the opposite tack: no rules or regulations. Just pure, unadulterated whimsy.

Anyway. Onto the sentimental part.

This has been an extremely eventful year, and a hard one, for reasons I don’t want to go into. I’m being challenged on all fronts to do better, be better, cope better… academically and intellectually, personally and emotionally. It’s so very trying and overwhelming and sometimes I’m surprised to find I’m still somewhat sane.

I am frightened and I am drained. It feels like I’m driving and driving and trying not to fall asleep at the wheel. I wish I knew where I was going. I wish I knew if I will like it there. I wish I knew who is going to be there to greet me.

Ringing in two thousand ten. May you bring peace for our hearts, clarity for our minds, and freedom from our ghosts.


#musing

1 note
Comments

Powered by the I Could Live In Hope Tumblr theme by Nonimage.