kismetism

Look here, Nintendo. As a reasonably hardcore gamer who has enjoyed every (non-handheld) console Zelda game released in the N64 era and beyond (okay, that’s not that many…), I was prepared to endure just about any heinous mechanic you wanted to throw at me, because I’m a fan and fans do stupid things for the games they love.

And I forgave you for turning me into a rolly-polly goron (and other equally awkward things) in Majora’s Mask. And for forcing me to sail the seas for interminable lengths of time to get from place to place in Wind Waker. And for making me do this really tiresome nunchuk-wiimote-shakey-thing whenever I apparently fail to disguise my incoming strike at Ghirahim. And for the intense growling frustration I feel when I fail to shake it enough (because my wrists are tired, omg) and he whacks me into next Saturday.

But this explore-an-area-you’ve-explored-before-already-and-collect-three-thousand-little-things-to-get-this-one-little-part-and-not-even-the-whole-thing shit HAS GOT TO STOP.

Seriously? The “Silent Realm” gimmick was kinda cool the first time, like some kind of weird Pac Man parody. But I was really disappointed to enter the second Silent Realm to find out it was exactly the same — couldn’t you have given me a variation at least? Mind you, this isn’t just the voice of someone complaining because I found it difficult… I managed to get through the first two Silent Realms in a single attempt, and the third one in two (and the second one took two because I naively thought that Nintendo could not be cruel enough to hide tears on the mountainside — har har). I just found it incredibly annoying.

Trekking around in areas you’ve already explored, even with weird artsy effects applied, is not fun. Collecting pieces on a timer is not fun, and definitely not if it’s the fifth time you’ve been asked to do it. I know you guys must have gotten feedback from Twilight Princess that said this was okay and hey, guess what, in Twilight Princess… it was! Because there was NO TIME LIMIT and you were only asked to do it three times. And when you were collecting these things, you were making something that would help dispel the twilight (read: turn you back into a human) right there and then, it wasn’t just some subquest of a subquest, like ALL of these have been.

Now I’m being asked to collected TADTONES????????? Not just like fifteen of them either, but … jeez, I can’t even count that high. AND AND … you don’t even have the decency to give me the ability to douse for them until I’ve already found half of them! And I have to do the whole thing underwater, which has harder maneuverability AND I HAVE TO FIND AIR BUBBLES FOR BREATHING:LKJR#:UJ${#)UJIRESFKMC

I’ll still finish the game, there’s nothing that’ll keep me from doing that. Just wanted to vent about how very tired I am of picking up the pieces. Sigh.